WOOO!!! We monster truckin’ today! Throw on your best worst jeans and chug a 24-pack of Coors Light cuz we rollin’ over thirty-five years of Monster Truckin’ history.
MONSTER TRUCK FOOTAGE
INVENTION (THE MUDBOGGIN’ DAYS)
The ’70s were a golden age for a lot of things – disco, cinema (you know what kind), and wingtips. For non-city slickers, it was the golden age of mudboggin’ and truck pullin’. Drivers everywhere started jackin’ up their pickups, tryna make theirs the biggest and bestest.
Then one beautiful [BEEEEP] came up with the idea that would change the course of behemoth-sized vehicles forever. That [BEEEEP] was Bob Chandler, who had the novel idea of making a truck so big it could crush other cars. So he slapped some big-ass tires on a Ford F-250 and filmed himself ’molishin’ two lesser, weaker cars in a field. The first monster truck was born, and its righteous and unholy name was Bigfoot.
BIGFOOT ORIGINAL FOOTAGE:
BIRTH OF MONSTER TRUCK RALLIES
Monster truck popularity grew, but these diabolical mean machines were so disruptive to the badass curve that promoters had no idea what to do with them until midway through the 80s.
Yes, the same decade that gave us this:
…yet still monster trucks were just too damn much. Finally, USHRA and TNT Motorsports started racing the colossal bastards, and even better, started freestyling them. What’s freestyling, you ask?
IT’S WHERE THIS HAPPENS! GAARRRRUUUGHHHHAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!
CINEMA HISTORY (ROADHOUSE)
In 1989, monster trucks made true cinema history in the enduring classic, Roadhouse, a tale of a roundhouse-kicking “cooler” with a philosophy degree from NYU. Because when you make a movie with a monster truck, nothing less than the Swayze himself will do.
PAIN DON’T HURT:
The movie suffers from one unfortunate yet critical flaw – a villain that’s less scary than tile mold.
Granted, he looks like he’ll throw a drink in your face if you criticize his karaoke version of “My Way,” but the wind generated from one of whitewashed Tony Jaa’s spin kicks is clearly more than enough to knock him over.
Luckily, director Rowdy “Rowdy” Herrington realized exactly the nitro-fuel injection this bad guy needed – you guessed it, a car that goes GARRRGHHH VROOM VROOOOM YAAAUGGHH DIESEL FUMES YAHHHHH!!!!
Here’s a lil peek from when it takes out the local car dealership:
…and America was never the same.
FAMILY GUY ROADHOUSE COMPILATION:
MONSTER TRUCKS TODAY
Yeehaw!! Hang on to your axle-greased butts, cuz MONSTER JAM ULTRA ‘SPOLSION XXXXXXXL is coming to the Mudtown Civic Center this S-S-S-S-S-S-SATURDAY!!!!! Blast some Iron Maiden and slam you 45 Mountain Dews, cuz this GOES ALL WEEKEND!!!!!!