Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Set deadlines and hold yourself to them, Cancer. This may be your birthday month, but your to-do list is insane. When’s the last time you renewed your driver’s license? Are you due for a trip to the DMV? Is it time to get your oil changed? What about those new tires you’ve been eyeing? Push all distractions to the side and put the pedal to the metal. Sometimes you really just have to focus on getting from Point A to Point B.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
You have been loose with your money lately. Even if you know your spending is out of control, it can be hard to stop. Drive your car for a little longer. Hold off on selling it and buying a newer, cooler model. Sometimes slow and steady is the way to go, at least for a bit. Commit yourself to a budget. Not just a mental one, but one that you actually write out and track. Those rims can wait. A new pair of fuzzy dice can wait. All of those extras can wait.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
Something’s gnawing at the back of your mind. Do you suspect your vision is declining and it’s affecting your driving? Do you think that “tiny pebble” in your tire is actually something much worse? Confront your fears. All of this worry and stress isn’t worth it. You’re losing sleep. You have a headache. You need to figure out what’s wrong so you can hit the road in peace again.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
You gotta take things seriously at some point. That time is now. No more speeding tickets. No more DUIs. No more loosey-goosey parking jobs. Grow up or get off the road and buy yourself a metro card. Because if you can’t get things in order, public transportation will soon be your only option for getting around town. Even your bestie will get tired of chauffeuring you from place to place after a while. Maybe spend this weekend at home. Yoga and Netflix could do you (and your driving record) good.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Take your car to the shop. Now. You’ve been putting off this maintenance for far too long. Be honest with yourself. Your avoidance tendencies are not healthy—and they’re not great for your car, either. Get it together and get it fixed. You deserve to drive a car that is safe and maybe not a hunk of junk on wheels, either. When’s the last time you got that thing washed, anyway?
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
You are not the boss of the road. Share it. Don’t give in to petty behavior or road rage. There’s enough room for everybody to get where they are going. Even if there’s bumper-to-bumper traffic, think of it this way: It’s meant to be. You are meant to sit there. You are not meant to move more than a few inches an hour. No matter how infuriating it may be, this traffic is part of your destiny. Accept it with Zen-like grace and go along with the pace like everybody else. Sometimes that’s all you can do.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
You can’t quit just because you’re not getting what you want. Hate all the construction that’s going on in your nabe? Stay on the road and keep driving. You can’t throw your arms up and surrender any time there’s a bitty roadblock. This is what adulthood is all about. You’re apparently mature enough to have a driver’s license. But are you mature enough to really take on life?
Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
Think something shady is going on in that car next to you? There probably is, but you’re just too nice and forgiving to see it. Not every car that’s pulled over on the side of the road belongs to someone in distress. Some people are out to trick you and do you wrong. But you, Aquarius, are too kind sometimes. Keep your guard up. Ask questions. Don’t trust others so easily. You might get taken for in a way you will really regret.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
You can’t always be a lone wolf. When’s the last time you drove when other people were on the road? It’s not healthy to constantly be up at all hours, running your errands in the middle of the night. Venture out of your cave and see the light of day. You can have your windows, AC, and music up, but you still need sunshine and, at some point, human contact. Just don’t let it be of the road rage variety.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
You’re too tied to home to go on a road trip right now, but you can still hop in your car and take it for a spin. Explore a new part of town. Drive down streets you’ve never noticed before. Make it a project. Take photos. Keep a journal. Whip up a personalized map or an “I Spy” list to pass on to a friend who may one day take the same route. This could be the staycation you never thought you needed.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Quit changing lanes. Nobody knows what you’re doing because you’re swerving all over the road. Your indecision in your driving life indicates a common pattern and a bigger problem. Your life is full of flip-flopping, but it doesn’t have to be. Be decisive. Think before you change lanes and when you’re sure of your choice, switch on your darn turning signal. Your fellow drivers shouldn’t have to constantly guess what’s on your mind. Same for the other folks in your life, too.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Avoid driving this week. Stay home as much as possible. Walk or take public transportation when you absolutely must leave your hutch. You’re so exhausted that you don’t even know it yet. Stop doing things that drain you emotionally. That may mean cutting certain toxic habits or people out of your life. Maybe that even means selling your car and getting a new one. Consider it a major but necessary purge.