Cancer (June 21-July 22)
This is an artistic week for you. You might choose to bring some of that creativity to your car. Maybe it’s time to give it a make-over. Change out the fuzzy dice for something with a little more character. Or what about new bumper stickers? When’s the last time you slapped one on the back of your bland ride? Choose something memorable, not one of the same five tired ones you see on every other car on the freeway. If you really want to use your imagination, sketch up something wild and get a custom paint job done.
Leo (July 23-August 22)
Smile and honk your horn in a friendly way this week! You have every reason to be happy. Celebrate every moment that you can, even when you’re in the car. Sure, you need to keep your eyes on the road, but, apart from that, show everyone how full of joy you are. You don’t get to be this happy all the time, so consider it a rare and wonderful gift. Oh, but one word of caution: All your happiness might have you acting a little too generous. You may feel tempted to pick up a hitchhiker this week, but don’t. Really.
Virgo (August 23-September 22)
You should really be more flexible with your life and your car. You’re just too uptight about your car. Your life revolves around it. You can’t let a material possession have this much ownership over you. You’re supposed to own it, not the other way around. Are you really never going to take your car on the highway or drive it in the rain? Your car may be your baby, but it’s not your baby.
Libra (September 23-October 22)
You must be logical about your finances. Don’t buy a fancy new car if you can’t afford it. Don’t even buy a modest new car if you follow the good ol’ 20/4/10 rule and you (and your bank account) will not regret it. A car is a major investment. If you’ve already spent more than you can afford, come up with a plan. You’ve got to get your money matters in order. Read up and make an appointment with a financial advisor today.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
Challenge yourself to be the best car owner you can be. Stop making excuses for your speeding tickets, parking violations, and your car’s overall sub-par condition. Aim higher and you might actually score. There’s no reason the car that you bought new should be a hunk of junk before it reaches 100,000 miles. Treat it with care. Pay attention. This car deserves to be with you for the long-haul, but it’s only going to make it there if you become a responsible car owner.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)
You’ve become too emotionally attached to your car. Back off. Take a break. You might not be able to keep your physical distance, but keep your emotional distance. You don’t have to obsess over every little dent and scratch. Yes, it’s important to take pride in your personal property. Yet you also need to be realistic. If you drive your car, damage is going to happen. If you park your car in any public space, damage is going to happen. Don’t spend all of your energy trying to keep your car pristine. Just take a reasonable approach to keeping it look presentable.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Take a good hard look at all of your automotive-based relationships. How do you feel about the person who sold you your car? Does that person still follow up with you? Send you courtesy emails? Would you trust him or her to sell you your next new car? What about your mechanic? Or the person who pumps your gas? Or the guy who gave your car a custom paint job? Are these people you trust, too? If the answer is no, you need to evaluate why and find someone new. It’s never too late to jumpstart a new relationship based on mutual respect.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
Make a new discovery about your car this week. Do you know everything there is to know? Probably not. You’ve made such a huge investment of time and money in your ride. It’s time to give your auto friend your full attention. Love her for real and get to know the inner-most workings of her soul, er, motor. Open up that owner’s manual up for once and read it cover to cover. Quiz yourself. You’ll find yourself falling in love with your car all over again.
Pisces (February 19-March 20)
You are tense this week. Relax. One way to get rid of all that stress is to go for a joy ride. Bring a bottle of water and your iPod or your binder of old CDs. Then hit the road. You don’t have to go far. Drive around your neighborhood if that’s as far as you can go. Roll the windows down. Get some fresh air. Breathe in deep and clear your mind. Sing to yourself and don’t be shy about it. You’ve been overthinking the wrong things and avoiding honestly thinking about what matters. Your car is your meditation space.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
You must be absolutely certain of what you do. Drive with intention. You are not the only driver on the road, just as you’re not the only person on your journey through life. You are never alone, even when you haven’t seen another car on the road for miles. You might have your eyes on the rearview mirror, but you should be looking ahead. Think ahead and plan accordingly. Then make your move—and always use your turn signal.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Loan your friend your car at your own risk. It’s true that it’s your choice, but if you’re honest with yourself, you know it won’t come back in the same condition. You might even end up losing your car forever. Say good-bye to that friendship, both the one you had with the aforementioned person and the one you had with your car. Do you really want to spend the rest of your days standing at the bus stop in the rain? If you’re lucky, you might one day save up enough money to buy a bike.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Are you taking your health as seriously as your friends are? Unless you’re signed up for the same Pilates class and eating the same gluten-free granola they are, you can safely say the answer is no. One way you can catch up is to leave your car in the driveway from time to time. Think about where you can walk or take a bike. Is the post office really as far as you tell yourself it is? If not, you probably don’t have to hop into the car just to carry over a letter. Add up all those little errands and you’ll get your recommended 10,000 steps a day no problem.