Everyone has a favorite car, the one that stood out from all the rest you’ve owned. It was your greatest love (on wheels.) You can travel the whole wide world in search of another, but no other land yacht will ever compare. But so often, great loves cannot last and no car lasts forever. Selling your shagging wagon can be a heartbreaking experience. Sure, it might’ve been a regular P.O.S., but you loved it. You would’ve married it if you could’ve!
Even if your favorite car is in great shape, you might have to sell it because you need the money really, really badly. Like, you were this close to selling a kidney but since your friends told you to sell your car first and they aren’t total idiots, you listened to them. Or you’re moving somewhere “urban” and “progressive” where your car won’t be “necessary.” So you handwrite “For Sale” and your phone number on a scrap piece of paper and tape it in the window of your pimp mobile. Unless your car is a complete hooptie, someone will buy and the time you come to say good-bye. Ciao, bella! It was wonderful while it lasted! Then the grief sets in.
Here are the seven emotional stages of selling the car you dearly loved:
1. Shock
It’s gone. Your baby is actually gone forever and forever.
2. Guilt
You promised to honor and cherish her forever, you jerk. What the heck happened?
3. Anger
Stupid money problems! Stupid new city! Stupid everything that forced you to sell your beloved car!
4. Depression
You’ll never get her back. What’s the point of living?
5. The Upward Turn
Wait. There are other cars out there. Lots of ‘em.
6. Reconstruction
You will rebuild your life. This heartbreak won’t last forever.
7. Acceptance
She’s gone, but she’s in a better place. And you won’t get evicted this month. It’s a win-win.
