Unless you’re Amish, you probably don’t get around in a horse and buggy. Of course, if you’re Amish, you’re probably not reading this. And if you are Amish, I’m sorry for insulting your form of transportation, but I’m NOT sorry that I drive a car. I love my car and every dent and scratch I’ve put on her (and there are many because I’m a nearsighted klutz.)
Here are ten reasons to be grateful most people don’t rely on a horse and buggy for transportation anymore:
1. Your clothes stay on fleek. Dust belongs on the road, not on your outfit. Keep your whites ultra white and your blacks ultra black. Cars keep you fresh, even if you’ll never be quite as fresh as the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
2. You get fewer bugs in your teeth. Insects are a good source of protein, but they’re not a good look for your smile. Unless you’re trying to make a fashion statement, #bodypositivity does not include #bugpositivity.
3. You’re nicer to horses. Horses don’t exist for our sole benefit. Let them roam free in a meadow and roll around in clover. That’s their equine dream and they’re happier that way.
4. You can actually get roadside care. Ain’t no such thing as AAA for your horse and buggy. You better know how to fix that thing yourself. (Chances are the answer requires more than giving your horse a stern talking to.)
5. You have air conditioning. Well, unless you’re riding a real hooptie, but even then it’s something can eventually get repaired when you’re no longer broke AF. Imagine surviving the heat otherwise, especially if you’re driving in bumper-to-bumper city traffic.
6. You can ignore your fellow drivers. Hate people? No problem. Just roll up your windows, blast your music, and rock out to your own misanthropic vibes.
7. You decide how your hair will look. Want the sexy windblown diva look? Open your windows for a few minutes. Want the crazed, scatterbrained professor look? Open your windows for an hour and don’t look in the mirror before you get out of your car. Want the perfect ice princess look? Keep your windows up no matter how lovely the weather is. In a buggy, you can’t control what the ride will do to your hair.
8. Cars look cooler. A horse and buggy may be cute, but it’s not exactly a hip mode of transportation. Plus, cars come in so many styles and colors. You won’t find nearly the same variety among buggies (and definitely not horses.)
9. Your car can go miles and miles. Sure, you will have to fill up on gas at some point, but when you’re relying on a horse, you’ll have to stop for food and water. That’s not to mention that your horse will want a rest at some point. Poor little guy has to stop working eventually.
10. Your car can go much faster than a horse. A horse can go up to 30 miles per hour when it’s not pulling a buggy. Be honest—you probably drive faster than that when you leave work on Friday. High-performing sports cars can go more than 200 miles per hour. The need for speed is real.